Reflections on Our First Season

Unbelievably, here we are in November 2023 and our first growing season as September Sun is complete! I think the first year went well? In the interest of record keeping and practicing writing skills, I’m taking time this Winter to write reflections, do some research, and publish some thoughts. This is a very generalized reflection organized into The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. 

The Good 

I received a lot of positive feedback, I didn’t die, and from sheer exhaustion, I slept like a rock 90% of the time. If you know me, you know I wrestle with sleep, so this is worth noting. The CSA made me the happiest. Farmer’s Market sales are hard to predict and the labor to run them is exhausting. Next year I plan to expand the CSA by more than double and skip the big Saturday market. I’m excited for this shift because I think CSA programs are a smart system for local growers and consumers. 

As I worked in the field, I thought constantly about the food system and how it impacts us all. This time to reflect was priceless, although it was always more fun to do aloud with someone. My favorite days on the farm were those spent reflecting and discussing with others while we cultivated and harvested.

The small scale of the CSA gave me a lot of room to fudge, wiggle, and experiment with crops. Striking a balance of crop diversity and quantity was intimidating at first, but I think I settled into a good groove by the second half of the CSA. I learned a lot about what’s possible on our little acre, and next year I’m excited to really hone in on the crops that fit well here. This will look like “buying in” space hungry crops like winter squash, potatoes, and melons from other organic farms in the area to include in the CSA. This strategy is exciting to me because it supports an ecosystem of growers in our area, allowing me to support neighbors and fellow farmers who grow crops that fit better in their settings, and creating another channel for local food to reach our community. 

Finally, I tried hard to achieve excellent quality of produce and presentation. The taste, look, feel, and even smell of the produce reflect the quality of the entire growing operation- from greenhouse to field to wash to storage. I received positive feedback on this note, which made me really happy! Although I know some crops fell short of my standards, the beauty of the CSA is the ability to communicate the specific conditions that led to perceived flaws. Forgiveness for these hiccups is baked into the CSA system. Members sign on to a farm share with the intention of supporting farmers through highs and lows, an approach I find reduces food waste and illustrates the reality of growing food. Huge corporate groceries have done a great job of creating unrealistic expectations about what food “should” look like and how often we can access it. Challenging these expectations is good for us, and for our planet. 

The Bad 

I struggled with some frustrating illnesses this season, and with loneliness. It’s hard to face the weight of a growing season alone. When plants are sad in the field, or something just doesn’t work, I felt like only I could hold the guilt and disappointment of failure. I couldn’t commiserate fully with friends and family because they weren’t there to see all of the mistakes I was making. They were too sweet and encouraging. The hardest thing was to face my own tough feedback. “I fucked that up because I made that decision a few months prior.” “I can do it better next time, but damn it, there will be no spinach this Spring.”

It’s hard to motivate yourself constantly. I found some days I craved another person to just tell me what to do. Just give me a direction with no questions asked so I could shut off, listen to my podcast, and forget about the next fifteen things on my to-do list. Having a really, really good plan ahead of time helps this. Following the plan creates the illusion that you aren’t directing yourself. This omniscient being (which is really yourself six months earlier) is telling you what to do. I had a really good plan through June, and then things became chaotic. The to-do list got messy and my days became about urgent priorities rather than smooth schedules. I can change this. Last winter, naivety and a long list of basic infrastructure projects prevented me from spending the necessary time investing in a full season plan. This winter will be different. 

Hilariously, surrounded by beautiful produce that we grew, I cooked less and less for myself this season. I was so tired and often worked into the evening hours. I skipped breakfast, stuffed carbs into my face for lunch, and asked my mom to feed me at night. Cooking is one of the things that fuels my love for growing food. I have a dusty library of cookbooks all about using produce from this region and from small farms. I sent countless recipes to CSA members, but rarely followed them myself. I ate a lot of ice cream. I ate a lot of boxed mac and cheese. When I did cook, it made me happy and reminded me of one reason I love to grow food. 

The Ugly 

I was so grateful for folks who worked with me- Jacquelyn, Matt, Lil, Mel, Phil, Katie, and Finn. Next year I’m hoping to farm with more people more often. Part of this means increasing prices slightly so I can afford to pay people well. Even then, it’s unlikely I’ll get to pay myself much at all. This is the largest struggle for small farms, as far as I can see. Typically, it takes some combination of a partner with a more lucrative job or a family with a lot of wealth to make a farming business work. I get a lot of support, both monetarily and emotionally, from my relatives. This to me, in many ways, is a huge flaw in the system. I’m hoping to research and write about this more this Winter. 

This is the “ugly” part because the climb to make this business, and local food generally, economically possible and sustainable is a steep one. I truly believe in the possibility, and in the people I see around me working to figure out the how. More on this soon. 

I have many, many specific reflections on the amount of water that tomatoes need, trellising eggplant, spacing of all crops, types of irrigation and their application, and more, but I will not bore you with these here! Sometime this Winter I’ll publish a “reading list” with the resources I’ve found most helpful for planning and cultivation information. 

Thanks for reading, Kendall